-Rosanne Cash
Dear Diary,
I don’t know what in the world posed me to start writing. This diary has sat untouched on my desk since my fifteenth birthday almost a year ago. That is when my mother gave it to me and told me to fill it with my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my thoughts, to make it my best friend in a world where I have none.
My mother is a very smart woman, I love her so much. She is my best friend, Queen Alyssa Loraina of Wingspan. You see, that is what my mother meant when she said I have no friends. I am the Princess of Wingspan and so my father allows me to have very few friends, and the ones I do have I do not know if they are my friend because they like me or they like my title. I cannot confide in any of them.
So you, my silent new friend, will be the one I confide all my hopes and dreams in. You will hear of my fears and of my tears. Life is not just good. Life has the bad as well. I know what you are thinking. What does a princess know of the bad?
My life may seem picture perfect on the outside, but behind the closed doors of the Wind Castle, it is a completely different story. I do not know if my mother and my father were ever happy in their marriage, but for as long as I can remember they have fought and fought. My father is violent, and he hits my mother. I have heard the horrid things that he said to her. And even though they are married, I know he rapes her all the time. My mother despises him. I know she would never willingly have sex with him. My poor mother, I do not know the causes behind all of this, but I am almost certain it have to do with a man named, Doomanjo.
I do not know who he is, or how he connects to my mother or my father. I have only seen him a few times in my life, the last being the day my baby brother, Alex, died. But that is a story for a different date. My mother and I have never really gotten over it. I suppose it would be hard on any mother to watch her child die. But I do not think that I would go into the deep depression that surrounded her for years; if one of my children were to die…well…I can always have more, right?
I do not know why it seems that those whom people think have everything often don’t. In fact, while everyone thinks royals have an easy life, we have it harder than everyone else. Every person in Wingspan, every one of them, from the highest duke to the person who lives on the streets can claim at least one thing of their own, freedom, the freedom to choose what they can and cannot, what they will and will not, do.
I do not have that freedom. I am a slave. Not in the sense of being bought and sold, but I am owned. I am not my own. I am owned by my country. I am bound to do what is best for it, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness. I am a princess and it is my duty. I wonder if my people realize the sacrifices I make day after day to insure their comfort and happiness. I doubt it, but does that mean I will start serving myself? Never, I am a princess; it is an honor to put my country above myself.
There is one and only one instance in which I would defy the system of my world. True love, I know what you’re thinking. How cliché, right? I suppose I agree, but if it is as wonderful as everyone says it is, don’t you think it would be worth fighting for? I do. I honestly hope I can find him. I hope he is waiting out there for me, waiting, hoping to find me too. He will be my knight in shining armor, and I will be his princess.
I will know he is the one the moment I see him. When I look into his eyes, something will click and I will see stars, fireworks. It will be electric, and I will know that I cannot live without him. He will be kind hearted, and above all he will not be part of my world. I don’t want to marry a royal. I want someone who understands me not who understands the government. All I want is someone who really loves me with all of his heart. I long for him every day. I can only hope he is longing for me as much as I am longing for him.
I suppose I must tear myself away from you, my ever silent friend. Not because I want too, never because I want too. But because I have too, I have a Privy Council meeting I must attend. My father says that I must learn how these meetings work, because I am going to have to attend them when I rule the kingdom, even if I am a useless girl. Then, I have a wardrobe meeting with Jimmi, and a state dinner after that followed by a royal ball. Fifteen and I work harder than most adults in my kingdom. But then again, it is my honor to do so. After all, I am their princess, their own beloved, Princess Alanea of Wingspan.
Your Most Trusted Friend,
Alanea Leanne Loraina
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